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Barnes McBride

From Beastiepedia: The Beastieball Wiki


"How about you go Rated E for everyone!, 'dude.'"
—Barnes McBride to the Sports King

Barnes McBride is an NPC in Beastieball. He is the coach of the Crimson Racers, the #3 ranked team in the League, and the highest-paid sports franchise in the world.

Appearance

Barnes McBride wears a red racer’s jumpsuit with black accents, a matching hat, and shades, as well as a towel around his neck. His suit and hat are adorned with many logos, likely those of his sponsors, as well as a crown emblem on his waist. He has spiky black hair and a light stubble.

Personality

McBride is impatient and disrespectful, even to the Sports King. He frequently uses ”colorful” language that has to be censored by the game.

Story

First Encounter

McBride is first introduced to the player by the Sports King after their third Ranked victory. He positions McBride as their rival, much to the latter’s annoyance, as he is eager to get to a sponsorship engagement he has soon. The King explains that, as the #3 ranked player, he’s “good, but not TOO good,” which annoys McBride further.

During the player’s match with McBride, the King changes the rules to completely randomize all damage. Afterwards, while the King seems enthusiastic about this, McBride says that it’s terrible, basically functioning as a glorified slot machine. He then leaves for his sponsored engagement.

The player can also spectate a match between Barnes McBride and Valerie Stride with Riley. McBride tells Stride that everyone’s already tired of her, and that he’s excited to see her face after he’s the one to finally beat her. Stride is unaffected by his trash talk, however, and swiftly defeats him.

Second Encounter

After the player's fifth Ranked victory, the Sports King pits the player and McBride against each other again. This time, the King changes the rules to "Tennis Mode," which changes all receives to be easy receives and only allows one action per turn. McBride is equally unenthusiastic about this new ruleset, but refrains from using his usual vulgar language, as he is attempting to clean up his image for his sponsors.

In the locker room, McBride talks to the player. He says he knows they think he’s just an idiot with a lot of money, but he says that they’d be sorely mistaken.

Final Encounter

SPOILER WARNING
This section contains endgame spoilers for Beastieball! Consider yourself warned.

McBride eventually faces the player in a true match during the Crown Series, where he reveals that the Sports King told him to throw this match and let the player win; he angrily refuses, stating that he is sick of both the Sports King and the player, and pledges to defeat them. After the player's victory, he becomes completely unglued and fires off a deluge of exceptionally colorful remarks and very not E for everyone words and especially problematic statements before leaving the stadium.

Dialogue

Main article: Barnes McBride/Dialogue

Teams

Level scaling for teams is still under research.

This team represents the lowest possible levels it can be encountered at. Plays and Metamorphs are scaled based on the levels of each Beastie and their teammates, but level scaling is not yet fully understood. See below each team for notes on their scaling.

Sports King's Random mode match

The Crimson Racers
Zefyre

Max#33 (Zefyre)
Level 37

NameDescriptionPowType
AirblastOnly used from net. SHIFTs self to back row.115Spirit
Net RushVOLLEY. SHIFTs self to front row.--Volley
CycloneForce target to TAG OUT.--Defense
NameDescription
FlittingCan't be BLOCKED
Daredillo

Lewis#44 (Daredillo)
Level 38

NameDescriptionPowType
GritPOW x2 when SWEATY, NERVOUS, or TENDER.65Spirit
SpikeOnly used from net.100Body
ShieldFeel 1 TOUGH (1/4 damage) + 2 ANGRY (only attacks).--Defense
NameDescription
AcrobatDEF +50% just after moving or tagging in
Blitzwift

Carlos#55 (Blitzwift)
Level 38

NameDescriptionPowType
RocketATTACK. Stronger when received in the back.70Body
TeleportSWITCH places with ally without moving ball.--Support
RefreshVOLLEY. HEALs ally +15.--Volley
NameDescription
JetGets +1 ACTION after MOVE
Sprecko

Beastie4Name#99 (Sprecko)
Level 0

NameDescriptionPowType
Call OutDEF to ally.--Support
NameDescription
ScavengerRestores 20 STAMINA when tagged out
Sprecko

Beastie5Name#99 (Sprecko)
Level 0

NameDescriptionPowType
Call OutDEF to ally.--Support
NameDescription
ScavengerRestores 20 STAMINA when tagged out

Prior to the October 2024 Preview Playtest, this match against The Crimson Racers also contained Shoemaker#07, a Blitzwift.

Scaling notes

Additional plays are swapped in based on the highest level of play learned by this Beastie or any of its teammates by level up. Beasties that metamorph do so after the level they would naturally do so.

Sports King's Tennis mode match

The Crimson Racers
Skiffrig

Fernando#14 (Skiffrig)
Level 39

NameDescriptionPowType
TrackerATTACK. Target feels 1 BLOCKED (POW x2/3).45Mind
Quick BreathHEALs self +30.--Defense
Call OutDEF to ally.--Support
NameDescription
BouncyBounces the ball to their ally after receiving any attack
Blitzwift

Carlos#55 (Blitzwift)
Level 40

NameDescriptionPowType
RocketATTACK. Stronger when received in the back.70Body
TeleportSWITCH places with ally without moving ball.--Support
RefreshVOLLEY. HEALs ally +15.--Volley
NameDescription
JetGets +1 ACTION after MOVE
Daredillo

Lewis#44 (Daredillo)
Level 40

NameDescriptionPowType
GritPOW x2 when SWEATY, NERVOUS, or TENDER.65Spirit
SpikeOnly used from net.100Body
ShieldFeel 1 TOUGH (1/4 damage) + 2 ANGRY (only attacks).--Defense
NameDescription
AcrobatDEF +50% just after moving or tagging in
Zefyre

Max#33 (Zefyre)
Level 39

NameDescriptionPowType
AirblastOnly used from net. SHIFTs self to back row.115Spirit
Net RushVOLLEY. SHIFTs self to front row.--Volley
CycloneForce target to TAG OUT.--Defense
NameDescription
FlittingCan't be BLOCKED
Sprecko

Beastie5Name#99 (Sprecko)
Level 0

NameDescriptionPowType
Call OutDEF to ally.--Support
NameDescription
ScavengerRestores 20 STAMINA when tagged out

Scaling notes

Additional plays are swapped in based on the highest level of play learned by this Beastie or any of its teammates by level up. Beasties that metamorph do so after the level they would naturally do so.

Crown Series

Barnes also uses the final version of this team in the Super Tower Challenge.


The Crimson Racers
Blitzwift

Carlos#55 (Blitzwift)
Level 42

NameDescriptionPowType
RocketATTACK. Stronger when received in the back.70Body
TeleportSWITCH places with ally without moving ball.--Support
RefreshVOLLEY. HEALs ally +15.--Volley
NameDescription
JetGets +1 ACTION after MOVE
Demolipede

Danny#03 (Demolipede)
Level 41

NameDescriptionPowType
OverpowerPOW to self. DEF to self.110Body
MarkTarget feels 1 BLOCKED (POW x2/3).--Support
Forward PassVOLLEY. SHIFTs ally to front row.--Volley
NameDescription
WatchtowerReceives attacks in place of adjacent allies
Skiffrig

Fernando#14 (Skiffrig)
Level 41

NameDescriptionPowType
TrackerATTACK. Target feels 1 BLOCKED (POW x2/3).45Mind
Quick BreathHEALs self +30.--Defense
Call OutDEF to ally.--Support
NameDescription
BouncyBounces the ball to their ally after receiving any attack
Zefyre

Max#33 (Zefyre)
Level 41

NameDescriptionPowType
AirblastOnly used from net. SHIFTs self to back row.115Spirit
Net RushVOLLEY. SHIFTs self to front row.--Volley
CycloneForce target to TAG OUT.--Defense
NameDescription
FlittingCan't be BLOCKED
Daredillo

Lewis#44 (Daredillo)
Level 43

NameDescriptionPowType
GritPOW x2 when SWEATY, NERVOUS, or TENDER.65Spirit
SpikeOnly used from net.100Body
ShieldFeel 1 TOUGH (1/4 damage) + 2 ANGRY (only attacks).--Defense
NameDescription
AcrobatDEF +50% just after moving or tagging in

Scaling notes

Additional plays are swapped in based on the highest level of play learned by this Beastie or any of its teammates by level up. Beasties that metamorph do so after the level they would naturally do so.

Trivia

  • Each of the known Beasties on the Crimson Racers are named and numbered after Formula 1 drivers:
    • Max Verstappen, who has not worn #33 since becoming champion and thus earning #1 in 2021
    • Sir Lewis Hamilton, #44
    • Carlos Sainz Jr., #55
    • Fernando Alonso Díaz, #14
    • Daniel Ricciardo, #3
  • Prior to the Early Access release, Barnes McBride had a Beastie named after Michael Schumacher, #7